


Mandy Gets Lost In The Woods

by ValleyxBunny



Category: Internet Personalities
Genre: Bears, Crack, Gen, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Lost in the Woods, Moose, My First AO3 Post, No beta we die like illiterates, Streaming, Trolling, Twitch Streamers - Freeform, bear murder, hey at least I proof read it, prompts, trolling bears, twitch made me do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:20:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21832075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValleyxBunny/pseuds/ValleyxBunny
Summary: A twitch streamer gets lost in the woods with only a camera and her wits. And her totally Extra community to provide help and commentary!!





	Mandy Gets Lost In The Woods

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when I feel like writing, and then ask my favorite twitch community for prompts and suggestions. 
> 
> This is also a work of total crack not to be taken seriously. My only hope is that no one cringes too badly, and maybe get some laughs out of the streamer in question

"Okay, guys, so. I have no idea where I am."

Mandy is standing in what's clearly a forest. There are a number of evergreens coated in fresh snowfall surrounding her, and the ground is completely white. She's alone, and looks tired, but at least she isn't visibly panicking. If she'd been panicking, her community would also be panicking, and then the whole world would devolve into chaos.

"I was sleeping, and then I woke up, and now I'm here."

The camera spins around, showing off the rest of her surroundings. Clearly, she's very far from civilization, "I think I'm gonna try getting back in my own... but, like, I dunno how that's gonna work. So, if anyone's got any tips on what to do, I'd really appreciate it. Like, seriously," she laughs nervously, "it would help a lot."

The chat blows up with suggestions both useful and ridiculous. Tips in survival, prompts to burn down the forest as a signal flare, trolling horror stories just for the lulz, and more.

No one questions how she's even able to stream from wherever she is.

* * *

Two days pass, and Mandy manages to periodically stream throughout the trip. Sometimes hours, sometimes minutes, but she manages. The trip gets referenced as essentially The Long Dark: Mandy Immersion. Every night, she'd spend about a half hour recapping her day, and getting news from the real world. So far, it hadn't been so bad.

Moe had indeed alerted the authorities, and a search was underway. Unfortunately, it seemed to be one of those times where the cops are just inexplicably incompetent at random, and very little progress had been made. It was starting to look like Mandy would make her way back in her own before those guys pulled their heads out of their butts long enough to get things done.

The cuteas had stopped messing with her - mostly. Eventually. Close enough, anyway - and they'd actually provided a large amount of valuable guidance for Mandy's survival.

No one questions how her phone hasn't died yet.

* * *

Stream switched on to a nighttime scene. There is a lot of stone behind her, and her fire seems brighter than usual. There are little scratches on Mandy's face and hands, and leaves and twigs in what of her hair isn't tucked into her hat and scarf and jacket. There's dirt smudged on her cheeks and forehead, and her side braid is frizzy and messy, but it's silently agreed that she could look a lot worse. After all, she still has a smile on her face.

"I found a cave today!" she cheers, "Which is really lucky, because, like, it started snowing real bad, and I seriously didn't want to sleep outside in that."

**_< did you make sure there wasn't a bear in there?>_ **

**_Mandy pales and freezes, eyes widening, and starts glancing around, shrinking in on herself._ **

**_< nah~ if there was a bear, then she'd smell it! My uncle gets a lot of bears by his cabin, and he says you can totally smell a bear before you see one~ >_ **

**_< maybe you can't smell it because it's a really clean bear so it has no scent >_ **

**_< LUL a bear just taking baths every day and glaring at all he other bears because they stink all the time! "You guys are so gross! You should all be ashamed of yourselves!" >_ **

**_< germaphobe bear who freaks out when the other guys eat fish before they cook it >_ **

**_< srsly tho, don't go to the back of the cave, and be super quiet, and, like, don't open food or anything >_ **

Mandy still looks shaken despite her communitea's shenanigans, and spends the rest of her report speaking in whispers. She cringes whenever anyone plays a soundbite or triggers an alert, and eventually just signs off early to spend the rest of the evening in silence. 

* * *

"Guys I woke up and there was _a bear_ and it was like _cuddling me_?! And I kinda freaked out and ran and now it's following me what do I do?!"

Mandy looks like she's going to cry, but has no new injuries they could see. She's curled up in a ball, and is surrounded by tiny leaves and twigs; it looks like she's hiding in a bush.

"Guuuuuuuys what do I do?!"

**_< KILL IT >_ **

**_< MAKE FRIENDS!! >_ **

**_< SET IT ON FIIIIIRE!!!! >_ **

The setting-things-on-fire joke had just kind of become A Thing. Anytime Mandy ran into anything, at least one person demanded she set it on fire.

"I'm not gonna set it on fire!" Mandy whines, though she honestly doesn't look as opposed as she usually does.

"Uuuuuuuu, what am I gonna do?!"

No one mentions the bear sitting a few yards away, sitting so that they could see it through the gaps in the bush, staring directly at the camera, wearing the driest expression a bear could possibly make.

* * *

Around noon three days later, the communitea is treated to the sight of the stalker bear fighting a moose for no discernable reason. They could've sworn the dang troll had snuck a few kung fu moves in there, but they couldn't be sure.

Someone clips it, Moe uploads it to Twitter, and the video goes viral.

No one questions where on earth a bear would even learn kung fu.

* * *

"I really don't know what to do about this bear, guys, and its seriously stressing me out."

The blonde streamer looks even more tired than usual, with dark bags under her eyes, and her blotched in disarray like she couldn't be bothered to fix them. The only new injury is the big cut on her cheek from when the bear had jumpscared Mandy the day before, making her run into a tree.

**_< befriend it! >_ **

**_< KIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLL IIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTT >_ **

**_< SET >_ **

**_< IT >_ **

**_< ON >_ **

**_< FIIIRE!! >_ **

The usual responses, then. Mandy protests a little less firmly every day.

"It keeps stealing all my food when I'm sleeping! I'm gonna starve, guys!'

**_< you won't starve if you eat the bear >_ **

**_< ... >_ **

**_< O>O >_ **

**_< MONKAS >_ **

**_< LUL LUL LUL >_ **

"Seriously guys, help."

No one mentions how the bear still sits behind Mandy on the nightly update.

No one questions why it's wearing the antlers from the moose it fought on its head, or how it even got them to stay.

* * *

The next stream features a very bloody Mandy, lots of digital screaming, and the flaming corpse of a large brown bear in the background.

"I did it guys! I heckin' did it!" Mandy looks so proud of herself, "It was asleep, and I totally.assassinated that bear! Didn't even see me comin'!"

**_< heck ye >_ **

**_< Mandy the Bad@$$!! >_ **

**_< FIRE!!!! >_ **

**_< I'm so proud! *wipes tear* >_ **

**_< I'd tell you how to cook a bear, but it looks like you've already got it covered >_ **

No one mentions the slightly crazed look in her eyes.

* * *

Three weeks after Mandy's Great Journey had begun, a wildlife ranger walked into her camp mid-stream. He just... walked in out of nowhere, calm as you please, then just stood there and stared like he came across lost, blood-soaked young women in the woods every day.

And then he opened his mouth, and the Tea Party collectively lost their minds and proceeded to break the internet in retaliation.

"Oh, hey, you're that chick we've been watching go around in circles on GPS five miles outa down, aren't you?"

* * *

Everyone did question why the heck they hadn't come help her sooner if they'd been watching the whole time.

The one person keeping track of all the things people should've said slammed their face into their desk.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry
> 
> PS: and now, a shameless plug!
> 
> Check out TeaWithMandy on twitch! And her husband MoeWanders!
> 
> Happy birthday Mandy!!!


End file.
